Lover of good books; interested in publishing industry. Must be a wealthy individual, preferably in mid-fifties, divorced once and unhappy or bored in second marriage. Looking for a way to indulge a long dormant passion, namely writing, as a benefactor. Must be looking for a place to lose some money in exchange for name on imprint. Dependence on whiskey a plus. Opportunity to meet hot literary chicks. Interested parties should reply to email@example.com.